I could be called “Naively Optimistic.” Whether the young hearts and minds are roaming around my home, in a schoolroom, taking a yoga class or at a family get-together, I want them to hear messages that resonate for a lifetime and evoke mindful thought, speech and action. All too often though basic activities minimize the time I (and others) get to spend with the next generation imparting the good stuff: WISDOM.
Ah, Wisdom… the collection of nuggets that serves as a compass for acting when encountering a new situation. It’s the stuff that unites cultures, serves all ages, and survives generations. It’s the backbone of mindful living and progress.
I believe we all have wisdom to share and we end up in others’ lives to impart it. It just feels too valuable to keep bottled up inside. If shared mindfully, it can be transformative.
I’m a long-distance aunt though, so sharing some insight with my nieces and nephew doesn’t happen without some effort. That’s shifted my intention for trips in recent years. Before each trip, I envision “Aunt Utopia” where the schedule only involves exploration, nature, story, music, adventure and brilliantly deep, yet age-appropriate (of course), banter that fills their little hearts and minds with the stuff of mindfulness. In Utopia, they learn a bit from me and I learn from them. It’s a state governed by relationship-building, nourishment and sustainability. Utopia isn’t filled with interactions where I’m directing a day with phrases like, “Please get in the car,” or “Let’s eat lunch,” or asking the essentials like, “Did you brush your teeth?” And in Utopia I don’t feel at the end of a visit: well, we got a lot done and didn’t lose our minds! I exit with a full heart and confident that my time with them serves them well.
But it’s 2013. Even though I’ve dreamt about it for eight years, I have yet to experience Utopia. I’ve had to accept the nature of modern Life and work with it instead.
I’ve had my work cut out for me! We’ve created a cultural pace that calls “dibs” on large chunks of our time with our children. We’re cleaning while they’re playing. We’re telling them how to complete a task, how to dress, and how to spend their time. We’re reminding them to eat their vegetables, practice their sports, and get to bed at a reasonable hour. The list of reminders feels long and seems to grow as they age. Even if we can get through all these reminders and tasks, they have their own agendas and interests in how they spend their time with us; they want to recap the game they played with a friend, practice that video game, or debate the importance of homework and a clean room. These are legitimate conversations and can be mindful (and entertaining). But they often happen in snip-its or quick bursts on the way to doing something else that really “needs” to be done. In those moments, we tend to give answers rather than lessons or shared wisdom. Not intentionally. We simply have a habit of talking specifics with kids. We talk specifics with kids a lot.
The everyday stuff of existence really seems to shred through time. We expend hours- not minutes- on the little stuff. Where’s the time for passing along general wisdom? How do we give them the “goods” to apply to most situations?
Many of my inspirations suggest, like Gandhi taught, we benefit the next generation by being the change we want for their world. Of course I want them to see actions that reflect that and hear those sorts of messages! But do I throw that in conversation between tying their shoes and putting on their scarf? Would that even resonate? How do most of us find the time and present all the messages that have served us so well that might resonate with them long-term?
Well, we can start small and thank a writer, like Linda Kranz, who gave us two books within the last ten years that vividly and succinctly share the messages that guide generations. If you only have five minutes to read to your kids, I recommend snagging one of these two books: Only One You and You Be You.
In Only One You, we witness Adri, a little fish, get pearls of wisdom from his mother and father, delivered with the goal he understand that there is much to appreciate, that he is unique, and he should make the world a better place. The rockfish illustrations are vivid and simple, mirroring and reinforcing the messages given. And by the end of the tale, Adri is excited about the lessons from his parents.
In You Be You, Adri returns and shows us the effects of giving kids messages like those in Only One You, giving them the permission to explore, and encouraging them to be themselves. In this story, Adri has grown to be his own teacher and shares his insights with his parents after spending a day of adventure. He noticed many differences while exploring his world. The message from the day: appreciate the differences in everyone because we can learn from each one; the key is to be ourselves and explore.
I’m not naive. We certainly need to talk to our children about healthy eating, good study habits, and proper hygiene. Often daily (depending on their age!). Those talks will crowd out the time for imparting the nuggets that could serve our kids long-term in new situations. I’m optimistic, grateful and glad though we have these books. Kranz has worked some word magic; each simple sentence is a message worth repeating. And in case we only have time to open to the first cover, she’s packed it with dozens of bright-colored sentiments like, “smiles warm the heart; they are contagious.” Of course I want them to know that!
I recommend these books for all ages even though they are simple reads that best suit early readers and those not yet reading independently.
Only One You
Themes: sea life, action, change, wisdom, responsibility, individuality, appreciation, independent thinking, overcoming obstacles.
Themes for Yoga Teachers: Each statement in the book could be a class theme!
You Be You
Themes: sea life, diversity, exploration, community, acceptance, identity, individuality
Themes for Yoga Teachers: exploration, awareness, being your own teacher, and a little bit of dharma.
Namaste.
