If someone said you couldn’t be you, what would you do?
I’d likely be stubborn and fight to be me even more. What’s wrong with being me? And who are they to say how I should be?
Yet many of us naturally struggle with finding our true selves. We don’t fight the fight. Instead, we tell ourselves we can’t be how we are and battle our natural ways so we better fit in with the crowd. We push our round selves into square holes, afterwards wondering why we feel bruised, but repeating it again and again. Most of the time, we don’t know we’re doing it. We habitually run away from ourselves in a confused effort to find our “true” place in the world. Sometimes we end relationships. Sometimes we move. Sometimes we mirror anyone and everyone in an unofficial game of “let’s pretend,” hoping at the end we feel like we fit in comfortably and all is easy.
However it plays out, it’s not a mindful journey.
But we are here to be ourselves. If we don’t tap into that on our own, at some point in all this running, we’ll meet a teacher: a teacher-teacher, friend, colleague, family member, or foe. That unique soul will bring out something in us that highlights our strengths, our voice…our true nature. If we pay attention, we may start to notice the shifts they bring about in us. And with that awareness and time, we may tap into these strengths on our own, push ourselves to follow where those strengths lead, let go of the need to fit in, and just be. We’ll be on a mindful journey.
This is a journey we share. It’s the journey Amy Krouse Rosenthal and Tom Lichtenheld celebrate in Exclamation Mark! This is a new book that’s getting a permanent place on my shelves because I think so many of us (adults and kids alike) benefit from hearing their simple message. They highlight the student-teacher relationship with a cast of characters from the keyboard: periods, exclamation marks, and question marks. Some of us are Exclamation Mark, struggling to fit in and find our purpose and completely unaware of our voice. Some of us are the silent supporters (Periods) who see things as they are and are ready and waiting to celebrate when Exclamation Mark finds what they already know: that he is something! Some of us are that pesky teacher (Question Mark) who shows up pushing someone’s buttons by prodding for answers until they react and hear their own voice.
I suspect I’ve been all three characters in my years and that I’ll be all three again and again and again as I evolve and my relationships change. I don’t think it’s possible to try to be one or another at any given time though. I think we just end up in the role at the time most fitting for our skill-set, the circumstances, and the needs of the collective whole. That role can change in a blink. I don’t think it’s all that important which role we play right now. We have our natural gifts and we can handle each role acting as ourselves.
But if we are struggling with finding our true selves, I think Rosenthal and Lichtenheld have highlighted a valuable lesson: we are already our true selves. The key to coaxing that feeling to the surface is that no one runs and we accept what is revealed. When that happens, the teacher will teach, the student will hear, and the supporters will cheer. In those moments, the struggle just seems to end and we will find our perfect place- as ourselves. OM!
I recommend this book for ages 4+.
Themes: identity, journey, struggles, understanding, teachers, community, purpose, roles
Themes for Yoga Teachers: dharma, mindfulness, awareness, student-teacher relationship, community
