Is your armor striped, polka-dotted or one big mirror? Is it thick and heavy with added layers reflecting your need for years of wear? Do you remove it for the kids in your life but don it for all adults? Do you make people pass tests before you take it off? Are the kids in your life slowly building their own armor? What needs to happen for you to remove it?
Are we all a little bit like Camilla Cream with many kinds of armor?
Even though she’s only a grade-schooler, Camilla Cream gets her first set of armor in A Bad Case of the Stripes. Why? She loves lima beans. But she loves to fit in even more. When she sets aside what she loves to blend in, she breaks out in striped armor- not at all what she wants. When she feels ashamed of her stripes, trying to act like everything is normal, her skin breaks out in patriotic images. When kids catch on to her “changeability,” they play temporary puppeteers; her armor becomes polka-dotted, checkered and anything anyone wants her to be that day. Doctors proclaim her “ill,” so she takes on the form of medicine, viruses and bacteria. Within days, she’s known as the “Incredible Changing Kid.”
Camilla and others start to think there’s no “cure.” But a wise older woman has an instinct that Camilla has been denying herself something very important: being herself. With a little guidance from this woman, Camilla acknowledges her true wishes and embraces them. The colors, patterns and distractions she’s been wearing fade away.
Camilla’s like many children. She’s also like many adults. But, as for all those children and adults (myself included), Camilla doesn’t see that she puts the armor on herself by trying to be like others. She knows, however, that it makes her feel awful and she wants it to go away. She’s suffering.
As David Shannon suggests in his story, “wearing armor” manifests in ways that look and feel like an illness. We become uncomfortable in our own skin. We stop recognizing ourselves. We withdraw. And at times we’re no longer understood by those who know us best.
Whether we can acknowledge it at the time or not, often we seek relief by donning more and more armor! Instead of being ourselves, we keep trying to hide our uncomfortableness from others. We create a cycle: the more we deviate from being ourselves, the more our armor manifests in ways that make us unhappy, fearful and grasping for change. We can quickly become the incredible changing people.
The truth is…we want to be ourselves. Desperately. And we need to be ourselves! Kids need to be themselves too!
In mindfulness practices, we acknowledge that we have layers of armor. We accept that some pieces may be easier to remove than others. We trust that happiness, in a way we’ve not yet known, will come from committing to the practices that let us see and be ourselves.
When we slowly (and with great care) do the work to see ourselves clearly, we notice the layers fall aside. Each practice clips a stitch in our armor and undoes the habits that create new layers. We soon discern and honor our true wants, needs, behaviors, and thoughts. We create the conditions to live from a place that falls in-line with our true nature.
Practice lets us set aside the armor. It de-clutters our thoughts, beliefs and behaviors so we can see their roots. We begin to understand which layers we added out of fear. We then can address those fears.
In due time, we then can support others as they address their fears. We can encourage our children to face theirs as well. We start living…really living…and enjoy sharing our individuality with others and celebrating theirs.
May we all enjoy the happiness that comes from being our authentic fearless selves. Namaste.
I recommend this book for ages 5-10, but its message has value for all ages.
Themes: confidence, individuality, fear, acceptance
Themes for Yoga Teachers: fear, confidence, true self
