Independence Day parades, concerts and parties have just drawn to a close. We’ve celebrated together and maybe even paused to look back at our collective journey. The foundation of democracy and equality rests on the idea that everyone has something of value to offer a society, and that if pursued with unwavering faith, those offerings will manifest a collective way of being that nourishes all. Perhaps the camaraderie of the holiday rekindled a sense of pride in a citizenship that’s grounded in individual freedom and places no person above another.
But as we move into this weekend, next week and the months ahead, can we nurture and encourage the independent spirit in each of us? Can we create environments for our children that let them twist, turn, roll around in, and do whatever else is necessary in their youthful relationships so they learn to follow their own path and… honor the path of every other person? In yoga terminology, can we live our dharma and let everyone else live theirs? Can we truly honor the independent spirit in each of us?
I think we can. And I think many people (young and old) are doing this…moment to moment, day to day, and year after year…without any fanfare. They are doing the work to value themselves, have compassion for others, and live from a mindful place. They are teaching others to do the same.
The Declaration of Independence didn’t just happen. It started with a feeling of wanting something to be different. That sparked an idea, which called forth an action and subsequent effort, to manifest change.
So if we want to honor the independent spirit, and we aren’t already doing so regularly, where do we start?
I think we can make great strides if we truly start liking ourselves and having compassion for others. It’s terribly difficult, if not impossible, to honor your vision for yourself if you second-guess your value. And without compassion for others, well, it’s equally difficult to respect their chosen paths.
Kathryn Otoshi, Joy Morgan Dey, Nikki Johnson, and Karen Beaumont are four of many children’s book authors who have highlighted the common struggle with self-esteem and noticing one’s own value. These four authors provide great insight on ways we can cultivate self-worth.
Beaumont, in I Like Myself, tackles the issue in backwards fashion. Bringing forth a character who loves herself just for being herself, Beaumont showcases a little girl who knows at a very early age that her true beauty and worth never change and she should be herself. It’s hard to imagine a child not tapping into his/her own value upon hearing this story’s infectious rhyme and seeing the character’s confidence and ease in simply loving herself- despite any changes in her appearance or ways others may view her.
Beaumont has honored the relationship with self. She has reminded us that we have the capacity to love our uniqueness. It’s not arrogant to love ourselves, but rather a demonstration of confidence and contentment with our journey. This journey requires us to be no lesser version of ourselves.
Although she doesn’t ask these questions directly in the story, Beaumont makes me wonder…What if we model confidence to others? What if we value “ease of being” more than striving or proving? These shifts could add up to honoring the independent spirit.
Otoshi’s character Zero in Zero and Dey’s and Johnson’s character Agate the moose in Agate are two classic examples of people questioning their own worth by getting wrapped up in comparison. Dey and Johnson use a collection of 13 gem-named animals that have quirky talents to demonstrate that when we drop comparison we learn that what we “see” in others isn’t all and what we sometimes “see” in ourselves is equally narrow in view. The only thing their characters have in common is that they are all gems, all of which deserve respect and add value to the group. Comparison becomes meaningless. Authenticity becomes valuable.
Otoshi showcases the lengths to which we sometimes go to fit a mold rather than be ourselves. She also highlights, conversely, the ways we try to make others be more like us. Zero feels empty and lacking and without value. Zero doesn’t want to be Zero. Zero tries to change shape to be different numbers, other numbers make suggestions for how Zero can be like them, and Zero tries to impress others.
But with the help of Seven, Zero gets a shift in perspective. Zero learns “0″ isn’t empty but open. And with Zero being open and joining (rather than hiding from) the masses, everyone’s value increased. Literally. They weren’t just 9, 7 and 3 anymore. They were an infinite combination of things, like 97,018 or 32,560 or 8,094. The sum of the parts created a great, varied whole- with everyone having equal value. Otoshi reminds us that this is only achievable if all honor their unique selves and show up.
Some of us, like Beaumont’s character, know ourselves well at an early age and embrace our path. Others, like Zero and Agate, struggle to trust their worth for quite some time. If you’re like Beaumont’s character, you can start to honor the independent spirit by modeling confidence and having compassion for others’ journeys. If you’re like Zero or Agate, perhaps start to pause and notice your uniqueness and compare less. Declare your independent spirit! We can all start there and continue celebrating.
May we all feel content and honor each other. Namaste.
I recommend all three books for K-4th graders.
Themes: self-esteem, individuality, compassion, life’s journey, relationships, contentment
Themes for Yoga Teachers: dharma, compassion, self-esteem, individuality, santosha
